he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He better not be in your backpack
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
