I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
