we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
