And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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