Duck Duck Cougar?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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