We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
not ubering you a puppy
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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