I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
