I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize