can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
not ubering you a puppy
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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