Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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