So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My first STD was from a foam party
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
