i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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