Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize