Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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