at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
