Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
