Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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