it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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