i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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