I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
