OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
