are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
