I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
