I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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