Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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