I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
