fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
