Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
