And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
