i think my mom watched the whole time
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Randomize
