hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize