??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Randomize
