Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
