He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
