We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
We had to coat check the pizza.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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