I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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