I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
