Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
