just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize