I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
