I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
