U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
