so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
