my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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