he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
