Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
you would pick up someone in the library
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
