time to smoke my breakfast
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Shitshow foam night was such a success
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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