If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
