The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
