I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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