you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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