I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Randomize
