We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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