Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
