THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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