my text book just quoted the cookie monster
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
