Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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