I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
