it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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