I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
50% drunk capacity currently
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
