Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
