well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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