So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Panties = found
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