I didn't shave. On purpose
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
This is my gift to your gina
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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