I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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