it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Randomize
